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estinoseThis is the first piece I wrote that's at all slashy, and it's more pre-slash than anything else. Would you believe that I wrote a Trip/Wes (onesided) ficlet? I sure don't. Nowadays, I concentrate on Trip/Katie, but I had to get this one out of my brain a couple of years ago.
I seem to have had a more liberal view of Xybria and Xybrians than crop up in my fics nowadays too. Hm....
(Trip shares my degree of bisexuality, too. It's interesting to look back and recognize that.)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Saban, not me, though I don't think this is what he had in mind when he created them.
Author's note: Non-sexual male/male ponderings. Just to get it out of my head.
The Art of Lying
by Selma McCrory
copyright 2001
He's with her again, and I don't want to interrupt them. They look so... together, and I can't help but look at them as if they were a terrible accident.
I guess that to me, they are an terrible accident. My leader, and my friend. Except that I feel more strongly than that. Some part of me tells me that this is fine, I'm just seeing Jen and Alex. But I blink again, and it's Jen and Wes.
If I were home, if Wes was my own kind, it would be so simple. But he's not, and I think that's what draws me to him. He's slowly taught me to lie. To master the art of lying, one thousand years from home.
At home, what I'm feeling would neither be encouraged or discouraged. It would simply be. I'm attracted, mostly, to girls, but the rare guy has turned my head.
Even though I've gone for girls in this time, I finally realized that it was a guy that I wanted. A particular guy, a guy I wanted to spend my life with. Not really as lovers, but just... together, as a couple should be.
We've shared so much together, that I yearn for him to realize the truth. But even before the movie dimension his eyes have been solely on Jen, and he doesn't even realize that we could have a relationship.
I want to claim him from Jen, but I'm afraid that he'd react badly. Humans of my own time are not as open-minded as my own people, and I'm afraid that it's the same in this time. As it is, the others have never asked, so I haven't told. They assume that since I go after girls that I'm not interested in my own gender.
I'm ashamed of this, but I want to lie more and more about my life and what the others mean to me. This time, this team, I'm being changed and there's little I can do about it. At least on Earth of my time I have others of my kind around me.
And I don't think he really knows how different I am from him. He knows, intellectually, that I'ma a Xybrian, but in his mind he's still seeing me as a human with psychic abilities, green hair, and a cultural inability to lie.
That's changing. Now, I think that if anybody asked if I was in love with Wes, I would say "no" and they would be none the wiser. Of course, nobody would ask. He and I are friends and I don't think he would ever notice my interest in him.
And I won't tell. Oh, I could go on and on about the guy I'm attracted to, but what's the point? He'll never notice... and I'll never tell him. Even if he asks. Even if he realizes.
I think I've perfected the art of lying.
-end
I seem to have had a more liberal view of Xybria and Xybrians than crop up in my fics nowadays too. Hm....
(Trip shares my degree of bisexuality, too. It's interesting to look back and recognize that.)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Saban, not me, though I don't think this is what he had in mind when he created them.
Author's note: Non-sexual male/male ponderings. Just to get it out of my head.
The Art of Lying
by Selma McCrory
copyright 2001
He's with her again, and I don't want to interrupt them. They look so... together, and I can't help but look at them as if they were a terrible accident.
I guess that to me, they are an terrible accident. My leader, and my friend. Except that I feel more strongly than that. Some part of me tells me that this is fine, I'm just seeing Jen and Alex. But I blink again, and it's Jen and Wes.
If I were home, if Wes was my own kind, it would be so simple. But he's not, and I think that's what draws me to him. He's slowly taught me to lie. To master the art of lying, one thousand years from home.
At home, what I'm feeling would neither be encouraged or discouraged. It would simply be. I'm attracted, mostly, to girls, but the rare guy has turned my head.
Even though I've gone for girls in this time, I finally realized that it was a guy that I wanted. A particular guy, a guy I wanted to spend my life with. Not really as lovers, but just... together, as a couple should be.
We've shared so much together, that I yearn for him to realize the truth. But even before the movie dimension his eyes have been solely on Jen, and he doesn't even realize that we could have a relationship.
I want to claim him from Jen, but I'm afraid that he'd react badly. Humans of my own time are not as open-minded as my own people, and I'm afraid that it's the same in this time. As it is, the others have never asked, so I haven't told. They assume that since I go after girls that I'm not interested in my own gender.
I'm ashamed of this, but I want to lie more and more about my life and what the others mean to me. This time, this team, I'm being changed and there's little I can do about it. At least on Earth of my time I have others of my kind around me.
And I don't think he really knows how different I am from him. He knows, intellectually, that I'ma a Xybrian, but in his mind he's still seeing me as a human with psychic abilities, green hair, and a cultural inability to lie.
That's changing. Now, I think that if anybody asked if I was in love with Wes, I would say "no" and they would be none the wiser. Of course, nobody would ask. He and I are friends and I don't think he would ever notice my interest in him.
And I won't tell. Oh, I could go on and on about the guy I'm attracted to, but what's the point? He'll never notice... and I'll never tell him. Even if he asks. Even if he realizes.
I think I've perfected the art of lying.
-end
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